Tag: Focus

It’s nothing personal.

This is for the loved ones of those with ADHD.

Yesterday, I sat with my husband and tried to just talk.  We are so busy doing things, we hardly ever just talk.  Ten minutes into it, I could tell his mind was elsewhere.  I let him know it looked like he was somewhere else mentally.  He said he was.  I asked what was going on, and he said he was “bored.”  “Ouch,” I said.

Then I remembered something.  It’s nothing personal.  I know hong-kong-1990268_1920what I tried to share with him would be quite fascinating to another psychology-lover.  But my husband has ADHD and becomes easily bored with things less exciting than a book such as The Martian.

He also prefers action to talk.  It’s hard to keep his attention.

As Thom Hartmann, author of The Edison Gene, points out those with ADHD constantly monitor the environment for what’s of high stimulation, with a swift ability to turn to these things.  If this high stimulation or need to act is lacking, they may shut down on you.  Kind of like your computer going into sleep mode.  When this happens, breathe and begin breakdancing (attention-getter!) or relax and remind yourself it’s nothing personal.  Really.

Their brains may be tuned to a different frequency.

 

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Go, Go, Go and Slow, Slow, Slow?

A few years ago, researchers at MIT showed that adults with ADHD have two brain networks that compete for their attention instead of “playing nice,” as they do for adults without ADHD.  These networks are essentially a go, go, go one that lights up when we have a task to do (“task-positive network”) and a slow, slow, slow one that activates when we have nothing to do and can daydream or let our minds wander (“defccv-jp-ngault mode network”).  Without ADHD, when one network has its turn to be active, the other one turns down…they cooperate.  With ADHD, they appear to often be active at the same time.  Imagine what that’s like.  If you have ADHD, you already know.  If only others could experience your brain to know what it’s like….

See for yourself.

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To get things started, add sugar…a spoonful or more

Just the other day, my husband played this song to our daughter, and I said, “Hey, Mary Poppins had it right.”  As a mental health therapist running groups for adults diagnosed with ADHD, I encourage members to have fun with their tasks as much as possirestaurant-coffee-cup-cappuccinoble.  Turn up the pleasure, excitement, interest.  Some will work outside or somewhere they find pleasant, some pair a reward with tasks and some work with others, even just as company.  Some do all of these.

If you struggle to start something, remember Mary Poppins.  And that some of us need a little more sugar than a spoonful.

 

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“It’s like a room full of puppies and candies.”

ADHD infoChildren often say it best.

My child said this as he heard me speaking about ADHD.

I asked him what he meant, and he said it’s what a room seems like to him.  I asked him what an empty room seems like, and he described how he will notice the shapes, curves, and corners of the walls; bumps on the ceiling; light seeping under the door; and the texture of the floor, adding that carpet’s like a maze of threads.  He concluded, “Even an empty room is filled with so much.  It’s insane.”

 

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