For an ADHD Group, from self-regulation to procrastination

The Nature of Willpower (aka Self-Regulation aka being the Captain of your Ship)

(I hate the title but appreciate the content):

If you want to get it straight from the source:

If you want a condensed version:

Episodic Future Thinking (to remember intentions and follow through with them):

Research Study on Mechs & Fxns:

Scholarly Explanation:

A quick, accurate explanation:

Understanding, and Responding to, Procrastination

Additional Resources (for all three posts on an ADHD group) (for dopaminizing/reducing friction) (for accommodations, free consults) (for sinking your ships/designing a “no-temptation button”) (ditto)

For an ADHD Group, from environment to self

Changing Self by Changing the Environment (for Fuel & Friction)

Extreme Friction/Designing an (Effective) No-Temptation Button (second part)


Research Study on ADHD and Self-Compassion

Ted Talk on Mindfulness, Shame, Self-Compassion:


Urge Surfing (useful for procrastination and impulsiveness)


Video: Kelly McGonigal’s Google Talk (see last intervention, where people hold their breath)

For an ADHD group, from overview to optimization

Understanding ADHD

Video: What is ADHD?


Cutting-Edge Research Sites on ADHD:

Cool Comics:


Research Study on Media-multitasking and cognitive control across the lifespan:

From the study’s conclusion section:

“Collectively, the findings suggest that higher levels of media-multitasking are associated with better multitasking performance (as assessed in cognitive tests), but only for individuals aged ~ 7 to 29 years.”

“Interestingly, in our data the sign of the relationship between multitasking costs and multi-media use also changes with age from positive in young participants to negative in older participants, suggesting that the demographic composition of participant groups may have significantly influenced the pattern of results observed in previous studies.”




Ted Talk (See First Part on Reward Substitution):

Optimal Brain Functioning, Setting Up for Effective Self-Regulation

Talks at Google (see first intervention)


Video (see the two on exercise):

ADHD & Romantic Relationships

Two well-circulated research studies came out relatively recently (2020, 2021) on ADHD & Romance.

First, 2020: Researchers looked at attachment styles & ADHD except, here, they looked at the non-ADHD partners of individuals with ADHD (74.2% with an official diagnosis). They wanted to know how the partner’s a) attachment style and b) ratings of their partner’s ADHD symptoms, together, influenced c) relationship quality.

What they found suggested that a partner’s high level of anxious attachment may make “the negative effect of ADHD symptoms on romantic relationship quality” worse. And, “Though insecure attachment styles are generally thought to have a negative impact on romantic relationships, avoidant attachment was generally associated with more positive outcomes….” Avoidant attachment refers to being an “Island” as couple therapist Stan Tatkin, Ph.D., describes it. Think of someone who likes you around sometimes but often at a distance. Dr. Tatkin describes anxious attachment as being a “Wave.” Think anxious about losing you but also doing things that might push you away.

As the researchers put it, “Individuals with an anxious attachment style experience heightened emotion during perceptions of abandonment (Dutton et al., 2014), frequently questioning the commitment of their partner (Bowlby, 1988).” On the other hand, “Individuals with an avoidant attachment style often seek to avoid conflict with their partner by withdrawing and becoming quiet and task-focused (Butzer & Campbell, 2008).” Why would avoidant partners possibly be a better match for individuals with ADHD than anxious ones? Consider that individuals with ADHD more often have such insecure attachment styles themselves. Good question. If you want to read how the researchers interpreted the results, you can get the study for free here (go to the conclusion section). Also remember this study looked at the ADHD partner’s perception of the relationship vs the perception of the person with ADHD. It’d be interesting to know much they line up.

Second, a 2021 study looked at the state of the literature on ADHD & romantic relationships to show what’s known and what remains unknown. The abstract is available here: At this time, however, unless you have special access (as a student, for example), the article costs. A workaround is to look it up through the public library and see whether you can get a copy through ILL, for example. I will give you an overview of its content.

First, the researchers start with dating. There’s a gender difference that you may find interesting: “…young adult heterosexual men with ADHD appear to have more lifetime romantic partners than men without ADHD (Canu & Carlson, 2007), whereas young adult heterosexual women with ADHD reported having fewer lifetime romantic relationships than women without ADHD (Babinski, Pelham, Molina, Gnagy, et al., 2011).” They then delve into why this may be the case given other research findings.

Several studies suggest that as well as gender, one’s primary symptoms matter (inattentive, hyperactive/impulsive, or both). How they matter, though, depends on what you are looking at. So far, clinically significant inattentive symptoms, generally, stand out as the ones associated with lower levels of relationship satisfaction. So good news for those with other primary symptoms?

Well, it depends. Research coding how people actually behave within relationships overall suggests more conflict showing up for those with a combined presentation of ADHD (clinically significant levels of both inattentiveness and hyperactivity/impulsivity).

Next, the researchers turn to violence and sex. The research on violence is a bit complicated to describe briefly, and the researchers cite very few studies. So I’ll leave it out. Here’s what the researchers say about sexual activity after going through various studies: “Altogether, ADHD is a marker for adults prone to risky sexual behavior and unexpected consequences, but those with persistent symptoms and comorbid disruptive behavior problems are at greatest risk of both.”

What about marriage and divorce? It sounds bleak. I wish more researchers asked about some of the positives that may be present, so let me say this: research looks at groups, averages, frequencies, and the like. Often these frequencies are low but higher than they are for the comparison group (here, those without ADHD). So usually what you are getting with “more likely” and similar research language is a higher chance of something; however, you may still have a higher chance of the other possibility (e.g., it may be that one group has a 30% chance of something and another a 40% chance so overall even the group with a 40% chance has a 60% chance of the desired result). This said, here’s the researchers’ summary on marriage and divorce: “In sum, marriages including adults with ADHD are more likely to be unsatisfying, a burden for partners, and to end in divorce.” You see “more likely” and this can be scary but the next question is HOW much more likely? Five percent? Ten?

Finally, the researchers delve into the complexities of ADHD and how so much is still unknown. They discuss the focus on heterosexual relationships, for example. They, nonetheless, develop recommendations for therapists doing couple therapy where at least one partner has ADHD.

I hope this is of use to you.

Examples of Six Levels of Validation

This is from the book I co-wrote, TRANSFORMING ADHD (I’m allowed to post some of the book). I hope you find it of use. It’s less glamorous-looking than I’d like, but if you knew my schedule, you’d understand. Besides, it’s all about the content, right?

Recent Resources for ADHD

Understanding ADHD

Brief, fun video on what it is that accurately reflects the latest and greatest understanding.

Getting what you want when you have it

Effective interventions and therapies This gets you to the blog of the American Professional Society of ADHD and Related Disorders, which was partly formed to spread the word about evidence-based practices.

Practices Christine Carter, who’s connected to the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, offers a free ebook on ways to play the short game to win the long game. Go back and click on Practices to get to her site and the ebook link.

Coaches We still need good research on ADHD coaches, but what research we now have suggests high satisfaction from those who use them. Thing is, they can cost many quite a bit. A coach through Edge, for example, costs $400 for an initial session and then $125/week (if interested, go back and click on Coaches).

More Click on More for two resources that I previously posted. They remain awesome.

The Frontier of ADHD Interventions

In my last post, Let the Games Begin?, I shared the recently approved video game prescription for ADHD and this got me thinking about other interventions on the frontier… 

Trigeminal Nerve Stimulation. In the spring of 2019, the FDA approved TNS as a “treatment” for childhood ADHD based on research out of UCLA:  here.

The device the researchers used is called Monarch eTNS. It sends gentle electrical pulses to the trigeminal nerve, which then leads to stimulation of various brain regions.

For a user-friendly description of the research, read this.

Neurofeedback. A 2020 review by scholars from several countries found it useful for children with ADHD: here.

Other research suggests its promising use with adults, too, including research out of MIT (here). Also see here.


The Future and Finances

The “golden years.”

With ADHD, you’re likely to give up a bigger reward for a smaller one if the smaller one comes NOW and the bigger one LATER. NOW wins time after time. Why? Partly because our future selves are strangers to most of us, and we feel little for them. What do we owe this stranger? For many of us it turns out, “Nothing.” We see this when it comes to money. Specifically, saving it.

I know this can be a bleak subject, but part of the remedy is facing reality. Let’s start with the state of the union on this. I, for one, was blown away.

In the U. S., post-retirement we live 17-20 years on average, and over 50% of us have less than $25,000 saved for these years. This means, apart from social security, over half of us have less than $123/month to live out our “golden years.” More like copper years, right? See

Sure, for some, this is a continuation of pre-retirement poverty (it’s hard to save living hand to mouth), but for many this goes back to the present winning over the future. At a great cost.

With ADHD, the cost is likely to be higher. Recent research examining the financial status of adults with and without ADHD ( went beyond confirming prior research noting bad financial news, on average, for those with ADHD. The researchers looked at some of the reasons why this is the case. That is, why less income, less savings, and more debt?

Here’s what they found. Compared to adults without ADHD, adults with it reported more often buying on impulse and more often using “an avoidant or spontaneous decision-making style” (e.g., I will avoid looking at my bank account before buying). On top of this, adults with ADHD scored lower when given measures of financial competence and capacity (e.g., being able to evaluate financial problems and understand bank statements).

But there is good news is. If you struggle with money, things can be better.

Here are some antidotes to an impoverished future (

1) Episodic Future Thinking, or EFT (,

2) Focus on the “cool” versus the “hot” aspects of what you want NOW (e.g., on the color and shape of a cinnamon roll versus the anticipated taste),

3) Sinking your ships by giving yourself no way out (or in) by, for example, leaving money at home when you are out and about apart from what’s needed–no credit cards, Apple Pay, etc.–on hand)–see starting where Dan Ariely talks about self-control contracts for more–, and

4) Connect to your future self (

For more examples on the above antidotes, go to

Here’s a toast to your future self! And to your present one who cares.

Adults with ADHD: You are less and less alone.

Hot off the press: Adult ADHD appears to be on the rise. At least the diagnosis of it.

Scholars at Syracuse University compared the prevalence of ADHD among adults from the 2007 and 2012 U.S. National Health Interview Survey and found it jumped. From 3.41% to 4.25%, with the gap between women and men closing by almost a third (31.1%), given the increased prevalence among women of all ages.

I know, I said hot off the press, and we are talking about numbers from 2012. But the study just came out days ago, so it’s hot off the press.

To see the study, or at least the summary of it, here’s the link:

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